The Hidden Reason Why You're Missing Out on Bigger Opportunities
Featured Post #36
Featured Posts are hand-picked to showcase the excellent work our community members are doing. In keeping with SmallStack’s mission to lift up small publications, all Featured Post authors have fewer than 500 subscribers. Think of it like staff picks at your favorite indie bookstore.
Today’s Featured Post is by
, author of Who Made You The Boss? with Lindsey Sulek, and was selected by community member . Mary writes:I'm nominating The Hidden Reason You’re Missing Out because it beautifully captures how self-sabotage quietly keeps us from the opportunities we crave, personally and professionally. Lindsey’s honest reflection, combined with her knack for turning personal experiences into universal truths, left me feeling both seen and motivated. It’s the kind of post you can’t help but share with a friend who needs a little nudge toward their own breakthrough.
A SmallStack Featured Post
The Hidden Reason Why You’re Missing Out on Bigger Opportunities
By
Years ago, when my business was taking off so quickly that I could hardly keep up, I did what any overextended entrepreneur would do: I put up a gatekeeper. We created a filtering system of red, yellow, and green light moments to ensure only the right-fit inquiries got through. It worked beautifully… until one day, it didn’t.
Suddenly, my inbox was nearly empty. There was a hole in my net, and, ever the perfectionist, I needed to find it.
This was during my micromanaging heyday, so, I hovered. I listened in on calls. I scrutinized emails. And eventually, I found it.
“I’m doing what you told me,” my gatekeeper said, a little defensively. “It’s a ‘no’ until it’s a ‘yes’.”
Ah. There it was. She was following the script exactly as written, but no customer service manual in the world would suggest treating potential clients as no’s. That’s not how you build relationships…or businesses.
So, we flipped the approach. It’s a yes until it’s a no.
The shift was immediate. The right clients still found their way to me. The wrong fit filtered out naturally. And no one arrived at my desk already rubbed the wrong way by the gatekeeping. It became an adage my husband (who, for those who don’t know, is also my business partner) and I carried into every part of our lives - even parenthood.
I remind myself of it when my kids pitch a messy project for the day—one that, in my default “Department of No” mindset, I would’ve shut down before it had a chance to lift off. But instead, I try to let her ideas breathe. And often? I’m delighted by the outcome (even if it involves a mini-apocalypse in the kitchen).
When we lead with no, we don’t just filter out the bad. We often miss the good, the joy, the little moments that live right on the other side of our gatekeeping.
This is the difference between living in scarcity and living in abundance. And it’s easy to see how this plays out in business, in family life, in relationships. But what about you? Where might you be defaulting to a “no” when a “yes” could open up something better?
The willingness to choose is the work. As I wrote in a past article, the opposite of easy isn’t hard. The opposite of easy is choice (if you haven’t read it, take a look - it goes hand-in-hand with this topic.) And choosing to lead with yes, to let possibility unfold before ruling it out, is one of the simplest, most powerful shifts we can make.
So here’s my challenge to you: Where can you flip the script? Where can you shift from no until yes… to yes until no? I’d love to hear how this shows up in your life in the comments. And if this resonates, share it with a friend who might need the reminder, too.
P.S. If you liked this concept, you’ll love our Built From the Inside Out series, where we explore universal lessons to apply in your personal and professional life. Check out the first post here!
About the author
is a writer, entrepreneur, and former CEO who started Who Made You The Boss? with Lindsey Sulek after learning the hard way that growth at all costs isn’t real success. She built Jetset World Travel into an Inc. 5000-recognized company, it was stepping back that clarified what kind of life she actually wanted as a mother, writer, and founder. Today, Lindsey writes to help others redefine success for themselves. She’s more interested in depth than scale, impact over optics, and believes growing thoughtfully might just be the bravest kind of expansion.Who Made You The Boss? with Lindsey Sulek is for entrepreneurs and high achievers building a life that fits without burning out along the way. Written by a founder-turned-fiction writer, this blog explores how business, travel, and parenting can create more freedom, flexibility, and fulfillment.
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Loved this post and so great to see it shared here!
I think leading with “Yes” instead of “No” is tremendously helpful when listening to others whether that’s a co-worker, friend, or significant other. Mostly it’s about not shutting people down. When people feel heard even if the ultimate answer is “Not Happening” will go over better. In many cases if we can get past our gut negative reactions and just ruminate on the idea, there’s often merit we initially missed. Mostly it’s about slowing down, honoring others’ ideas, and allowing new thoughts to intrude.