Wow, what a thoughtful question. The fact that you're asking about the right level of honesty to offer readers tells me that you already tap into the dynamic nature of "permission" in online writing.
I think it could be helpful to think of what you share using a concept called "titration," which I have been practicing for a few years in trauma therapy. The idea behind titration is that telling the whole story, all at once, in excruciating, exacting detail, even to ourselves, can be inherently unbeneficial. It can cause us to be overwhelmed, shut down, dissociate, etc.
In the concept of sharing about ourselves online, I like to think about one, tiny sliver of the story that is most resonant to the writer (in this case, you) that also has potential commonality with the reader you're hoping to reach. Where in your story and their story do things overlap? And can you share just that sliver of the story and then weave a thread to the work you do in your poetry? There's obviously some skill involved with this, but I've found in delicate matters that the more I titrate the story, the easier it is for readers to walk alongside and have a mutually beneficial exchange. Also, as a poet, I think you're probably more equipped to explore storytelling titration than most. 🫶
I had to jump in here and share the phrase I've been using for myself and with my clients - "boundaries for disclosure" - because I love your question, Maia. Navigating the pull to share and the safety to hold certain parts of ourselves that are sacred or as yet too vulnerable to ourselves. The advice I tend to offer is to read something aloud and sense into your body's response. If reading the piece ellicits intense emotions, it might not be safe to share that just yet, whereas if reading the piece brings a renewed sense of closure, understanding, or exploration, then it could be ready. I also love the idea of titration @Amanda B!
“Think of writing online like a really long friendship—where you share more about yourself, your interests and knowledge in layers. And just like in every relationship, there are some things that either don’t matter or are just meant for you. Let the layers of yourself come to the surface when they’re ready.” LOVE this idea. As a more reserved and private person, I’ve never been able to get comfortable with the way that other platforms seem to require us to share so much about our lives in order to be marketable, or to commodify ourselves in the name of branding. Your advice feels so much more congruent and authentic to me. This is exactly why I love substack!
Before I finished this I wondered: isn’t Small Stack by and for writers with under 1000 subscribers. So, essentially, Small Stack is no longer eligible to be part of itself. And why is one of the first guest posts from yet another writer who does not fall under the criteria? Is it just me, or is this…weird and off brand?
I hear you loud and clear, so let me address this in two ways. First, SmallStack does not restrict its subscribers to the under 1000 crowd--only membership in the Library. Featured Posts (premiering in September) will be reserved for folks with fewer than 500 subscribers.
Second, as our initial Guest Post, I hoped Amanda would help us set the tone for those folks who needed inspiration or ideas about what a guest post could be, how it could feel, and what the possibilities look like.
That said, I think this is important feedback for us, and I'm actively working with The Team on how we can use this space to best serve all of our community members. While Guest Posts do not currently have a restriction on subscriber counts, perhaps we should change that.
Thank you so much for sharing this comment. You raise an important and very understandable question, and we're grateful! I honestly don't know what the right answer is yet, but we'll consult with The Team and do our best to make a decision that feels most in service to this community. We are definitely learning as we go!
I felt similarly, Jodi, and appreciate the team addressing what seems a bit disconnected to the intent of Small Stack.
I’d personally love to see a guest post on what I believed was forthcoming—writing from one of us hard working but as yet under-read folks, on their why and how, their views on the value of this platform, etc.
I love Amanda’s writing (this post included!), and have shared my appreciation of several of her pieces with her directly. And also… I’m a little sad the opening salvo feels like more unsolicited advice to the newbie writer.
Maybe I thought this would be something different than it is?? My kids will second… I’m wrong A LOT.
The writing is wonderful, and I think the core of the essay - about connecting meaningfully with the self and with readers - aligns with the intent of SmallStack. But it was still a bit surprising; it had an overall flavour that seems somewhat at odds with the vision.
But it’s a start and I appreciate the team for setting the tone for responsiveness, transparency, and thoughtful replies; I think we’re attuned to comments sections being lots of people talking and no one listening, so this is wonderful to see. 🩷
Yes, Bryn! Totally with you. As with all new endeavors, it’s the commitment to making appropriate adjustments that promotes the success of the thing, and I have no doubt about ‘The Robins’ careful consideration of the conversation here.
And I like what you said about the core of Amanda’s piece, about setting the stage for authentic connections. Bet! 🙌🏻
Bryn, those are very important points for me (and us as a Team) to consider. I think what I appreciate most about all of this is the way in which folks here feel empowered to show up and tell us how they feel about this post. This is exactly what I hoped to foster when SmallStack was just an idea--that it would be community driven, community oriented, and ultimately community powered. And just like we do with our personal publications, sometimes we have to course correct to get back to authenticity. Many thanks to you, Bree, The Long Goodbye, and everyone else who cares enough to bring these thoughts forward to make SmallStack the place you want to be.
Good stuff. I like the comment about none of us really knowing what we're doing. There's so much experimentation and learning as we go. It's part of the joy of all this whether you're writing to 10 people or 10K. Lately, as my number of subscriber comments has increased, I've enjoyed including the community of "Beth Watchers" inputs in a section of my posts. I couldn't have done this a few months ago as I didn't have the comments!
Thank you for sharing, it’s nice to hear from someone a couple steps ahead who is speaking from their experience and a place of authenticity rather than a “growth guru”.
I especially liked the reminder that none of us know what we’re doing. I clicked over and read your piece about finding a place for luck to land and that captures my approach to my substack. I want a landing space for people to find me that isn’t IG or otherwise. A little community. I figured if I put it out into the universe, then eventually, people would find it!
Thank you for both your words of encouragement and providing room for each of us to find our own way. My newsletter will launch next month and no doubt I’ll learn lots of hard lessons on the way to building an audience.
I have been struggling with many overlapping issues of authenticity, branding, marketing (yuk, patoohey), communicating expertise “through my voice or tone,” having different sections, etc.
I am lucky that I don't have a certain number of subscriptions to pay the bills, but I do think I have valuable things to say about the art and practice of living with disabilities.
And I have yet to read a satisfactory explanation of the “followers” vs. “free subscribers” distinction. Is this part of the “we're all trying to figure this out” thing? As I understand it, followers are just free subscribers who don’t want to get emails from me when I publish. (I have turned off emails manually on a bunch of my own subscriptions.) Isn't there a better way to parse these or combine them?
Amanda, I have been reading you pretty much from the beginning and I really appreciate your work and personality! ❤️
Wonderful reading you here, Amanda, in this auspicious debut post for Small Stack!
I love what you wrote about having worked ‘in service to everyone else’s voice’ but your own for 18 years, and the decision you made to start from scratch here, and alongside the many in this community. I’m sure there are a good number of writers, myself included, who can deeeeeply relate!
Your generosity as a writer, and human, is so palpable. Thank you for using this opportunity to share yet more of yourself with us.
Amanda was one of the first voices I found on Substack and she continues to delight. ♥️ Such good advice for all.of us (especially those of us just beginning the journey here in the Stacks) and I feel like it is coming from a friend! A wonderful start to the guest post series at SmallStack! Brava!! 👏✨🌸
I loved this beautifully written story. Especially the part asking us to lose the urge to build an “online persona” and just be ourselves. Years of being primed to fit in to the world around us, make this feel daunting to many, me as well. But this community is far more welcoming and accepting than any other platforms which is a great thing. Because I can see how people are getting comfortable to share themselves with time.
Lovely post, thank you! I'm newish to Substack. I started writing here in late January, and I couldn't imagine how wonderful this experience would be. I'm growing readership slowly, but that's really okay, because it gives me a chance to interact with writers (and readers) in this community. My participation has added new layers to my life. I've met wonderful, generous people who give my writing a read, and come back for more and some have been recommending my newsletter to others. It's very exciting. I love being a part of SmallStack, such a great idea. Your suggestions are terrific and not overwhelming. I find them intuitive and very supportive. It does feel like friendship here. All these new characters/real people are part of my daily life now. Writers are the best people to hang out with!
Thanks so much Amanda , felt like your post was written for me as I am bumbling my way through first few weeks of launching. Substack is a very different platform for me to my previous writing outlets. Loving the encouragement to be playful, not much appreciated in academic writing!
Wow, what a thoughtful question. The fact that you're asking about the right level of honesty to offer readers tells me that you already tap into the dynamic nature of "permission" in online writing.
I think it could be helpful to think of what you share using a concept called "titration," which I have been practicing for a few years in trauma therapy. The idea behind titration is that telling the whole story, all at once, in excruciating, exacting detail, even to ourselves, can be inherently unbeneficial. It can cause us to be overwhelmed, shut down, dissociate, etc.
In the concept of sharing about ourselves online, I like to think about one, tiny sliver of the story that is most resonant to the writer (in this case, you) that also has potential commonality with the reader you're hoping to reach. Where in your story and their story do things overlap? And can you share just that sliver of the story and then weave a thread to the work you do in your poetry? There's obviously some skill involved with this, but I've found in delicate matters that the more I titrate the story, the easier it is for readers to walk alongside and have a mutually beneficial exchange. Also, as a poet, I think you're probably more equipped to explore storytelling titration than most. 🫶
I had to jump in here and share the phrase I've been using for myself and with my clients - "boundaries for disclosure" - because I love your question, Maia. Navigating the pull to share and the safety to hold certain parts of ourselves that are sacred or as yet too vulnerable to ourselves. The advice I tend to offer is to read something aloud and sense into your body's response. If reading the piece ellicits intense emotions, it might not be safe to share that just yet, whereas if reading the piece brings a renewed sense of closure, understanding, or exploration, then it could be ready. I also love the idea of titration @Amanda B!
Of course - your question really got me thinking. <3
Well done and motivational. Cheers
“Think of writing online like a really long friendship—where you share more about yourself, your interests and knowledge in layers. And just like in every relationship, there are some things that either don’t matter or are just meant for you. Let the layers of yourself come to the surface when they’re ready.” LOVE this idea. As a more reserved and private person, I’ve never been able to get comfortable with the way that other platforms seem to require us to share so much about our lives in order to be marketable, or to commodify ourselves in the name of branding. Your advice feels so much more congruent and authentic to me. This is exactly why I love substack!
My comment as well
The best part
💚
Writing and reading is quite deep and intimate. I've always felt more comfortable with this compared to short form video/TikTok style content
Before I finished this I wondered: isn’t Small Stack by and for writers with under 1000 subscribers. So, essentially, Small Stack is no longer eligible to be part of itself. And why is one of the first guest posts from yet another writer who does not fall under the criteria? Is it just me, or is this…weird and off brand?
I hear you loud and clear, so let me address this in two ways. First, SmallStack does not restrict its subscribers to the under 1000 crowd--only membership in the Library. Featured Posts (premiering in September) will be reserved for folks with fewer than 500 subscribers.
Second, as our initial Guest Post, I hoped Amanda would help us set the tone for those folks who needed inspiration or ideas about what a guest post could be, how it could feel, and what the possibilities look like.
That said, I think this is important feedback for us, and I'm actively working with The Team on how we can use this space to best serve all of our community members. While Guest Posts do not currently have a restriction on subscriber counts, perhaps we should change that.
How does that stance feel to you?
I appreciate the clarification.
Thank you so much for sharing this comment. You raise an important and very understandable question, and we're grateful! I honestly don't know what the right answer is yet, but we'll consult with The Team and do our best to make a decision that feels most in service to this community. We are definitely learning as we go!
I felt similarly, Jodi, and appreciate the team addressing what seems a bit disconnected to the intent of Small Stack.
I’d personally love to see a guest post on what I believed was forthcoming—writing from one of us hard working but as yet under-read folks, on their why and how, their views on the value of this platform, etc.
I love Amanda’s writing (this post included!), and have shared my appreciation of several of her pieces with her directly. And also… I’m a little sad the opening salvo feels like more unsolicited advice to the newbie writer.
Maybe I thought this would be something different than it is?? My kids will second… I’m wrong A LOT.
The writing is wonderful, and I think the core of the essay - about connecting meaningfully with the self and with readers - aligns with the intent of SmallStack. But it was still a bit surprising; it had an overall flavour that seems somewhat at odds with the vision.
But it’s a start and I appreciate the team for setting the tone for responsiveness, transparency, and thoughtful replies; I think we’re attuned to comments sections being lots of people talking and no one listening, so this is wonderful to see. 🩷
Yes, Bryn! Totally with you. As with all new endeavors, it’s the commitment to making appropriate adjustments that promotes the success of the thing, and I have no doubt about ‘The Robins’ careful consideration of the conversation here.
And I like what you said about the core of Amanda’s piece, about setting the stage for authentic connections. Bet! 🙌🏻
Bryn, those are very important points for me (and us as a Team) to consider. I think what I appreciate most about all of this is the way in which folks here feel empowered to show up and tell us how they feel about this post. This is exactly what I hoped to foster when SmallStack was just an idea--that it would be community driven, community oriented, and ultimately community powered. And just like we do with our personal publications, sometimes we have to course correct to get back to authenticity. Many thanks to you, Bree, The Long Goodbye, and everyone else who cares enough to bring these thoughts forward to make SmallStack the place you want to be.
Good stuff. I like the comment about none of us really knowing what we're doing. There's so much experimentation and learning as we go. It's part of the joy of all this whether you're writing to 10 people or 10K. Lately, as my number of subscriber comments has increased, I've enjoyed including the community of "Beth Watchers" inputs in a section of my posts. I couldn't have done this a few months ago as I didn't have the comments!
Well said. The illustration is charming. The artist?
I really appreciated this post. Thanks for reminding me to be myself. ♥️
Thank you for sharing, it’s nice to hear from someone a couple steps ahead who is speaking from their experience and a place of authenticity rather than a “growth guru”.
I especially liked the reminder that none of us know what we’re doing. I clicked over and read your piece about finding a place for luck to land and that captures my approach to my substack. I want a landing space for people to find me that isn’t IG or otherwise. A little community. I figured if I put it out into the universe, then eventually, people would find it!
Holding this vision with you, Liz! And the bright light you offer the world. 🫶
Very nice!!
Thank you for both your words of encouragement and providing room for each of us to find our own way. My newsletter will launch next month and no doubt I’ll learn lots of hard lessons on the way to building an audience.
I hope to see more of your writing and guidance.
I have been struggling with many overlapping issues of authenticity, branding, marketing (yuk, patoohey), communicating expertise “through my voice or tone,” having different sections, etc.
I am lucky that I don't have a certain number of subscriptions to pay the bills, but I do think I have valuable things to say about the art and practice of living with disabilities.
And I have yet to read a satisfactory explanation of the “followers” vs. “free subscribers” distinction. Is this part of the “we're all trying to figure this out” thing? As I understand it, followers are just free subscribers who don’t want to get emails from me when I publish. (I have turned off emails manually on a bunch of my own subscriptions.) Isn't there a better way to parse these or combine them?
Amanda, I have been reading you pretty much from the beginning and I really appreciate your work and personality! ❤️
Wonderful reading you here, Amanda, in this auspicious debut post for Small Stack!
I love what you wrote about having worked ‘in service to everyone else’s voice’ but your own for 18 years, and the decision you made to start from scratch here, and alongside the many in this community. I’m sure there are a good number of writers, myself included, who can deeeeeply relate!
Your generosity as a writer, and human, is so palpable. Thank you for using this opportunity to share yet more of yourself with us.
Amanda was one of the first voices I found on Substack and she continues to delight. ♥️ Such good advice for all.of us (especially those of us just beginning the journey here in the Stacks) and I feel like it is coming from a friend! A wonderful start to the guest post series at SmallStack! Brava!! 👏✨🌸
I loved this beautifully written story. Especially the part asking us to lose the urge to build an “online persona” and just be ourselves. Years of being primed to fit in to the world around us, make this feel daunting to many, me as well. But this community is far more welcoming and accepting than any other platforms which is a great thing. Because I can see how people are getting comfortable to share themselves with time.
Lovely post, thank you! I'm newish to Substack. I started writing here in late January, and I couldn't imagine how wonderful this experience would be. I'm growing readership slowly, but that's really okay, because it gives me a chance to interact with writers (and readers) in this community. My participation has added new layers to my life. I've met wonderful, generous people who give my writing a read, and come back for more and some have been recommending my newsletter to others. It's very exciting. I love being a part of SmallStack, such a great idea. Your suggestions are terrific and not overwhelming. I find them intuitive and very supportive. It does feel like friendship here. All these new characters/real people are part of my daily life now. Writers are the best people to hang out with!
Nan, it's like you pulled this comment from my brain. Very much ditto! 😊
That’s so great! Thanks, Lauren.
Thanks so much Amanda , felt like your post was written for me as I am bumbling my way through first few weeks of launching. Substack is a very different platform for me to my previous writing outlets. Loving the encouragement to be playful, not much appreciated in academic writing!
I come from an academic background too, and the idea of being playful with writing feels alien at times. But it’s starting to feel great!