Today, the 11th, is the final opportunity for writers to submit comments on this Smallstack, so I know I'm getting here just under the Limbo bar, but I have my reason. I'm stricken with self-doubt, the specter that crushes my self-esteem. It looms large in my world as I never thought that I had any ability to convey my thoughts in a way articulate enough to spur interest in another soul. It seems I may have been in error as my latest post has brought in a few comments which helped clear away some of the dark clouds of doubt that obscure my passion like a month of Mondays on a wintry Oregon February. Hope flickers in my breast as I wonder if this is the sort of feedback you all were looking for as I humbly submit my own post from yesterday for your consideration. I thank you for your time and for beginning this Smallstack forum.
It takes courage to send our words out into the world, Dave. These steps you're taking can be so challenging and scary, and yet here you are showing up and doing it anyway. Well done.
I feel more able to answer this question from a grounded place than ever before. When I was married, I had to prove my value and worth as a creator--to somehow translate my efforts into money. And I failed, and failed. I failed and the marriage failed. For a lot of reasons that aren't worth going into here. But the upshot now: my failures took me to rock bottom and now growing back from that place, I know what I want to do: I want to sit here at my writing desk, look out at my little apple tree I planted last spring, and write in my notebook. that's it. And everything I might do as a poet, and/or here on Substack and beyond both 1) comes out of that practice and 2) feeds back into it.
So, if I had a million readers? I'd be sitting here watching my apple tree grow and writing in my spiral note book and sharing some of my reflections. I like to think I would travel a little more and have a few more offerings--a podcast? a zoom hour? But...those dreams will only work if they are in alignment with my core creative practices.
The wonderful, miraculous part of all of this is: by getting really clear and unapologetic about my own creative needs and value--true value, which includes money and also so much more than just money-- I'm more comfortable not forcing anything and just welcoming who shows up. I still don't have a lot of energy (grief is exhausting) for hosting, but that will come. With time. The more I show up here, as myself, failed and sometimes prickly, joyful and abrupt and a little odd and still putting one word next to another... the more robust and resilient I feel myself once again becoming. <3
I arrived July 2024 with a guest essay on memoir land so I kicked off my first substack post at the same time. I’m blown away to get so many subscribers so quickly. This is my venue. That was my dream. To have readers.
But if I had a million dollars, I don’t think I would change my format at all. I think if I have either 1 or 1 million subscribers, I would want to take the time to write from my heart. And I think this method will one day get me to a million subscribers because literally anything is possible. Loved this post. 🙂
Hello Robin, Robin and Erin, Thank you for this invitation. My growth has been slow and steady. I began writing at 56, stopped and started again through the inspiration of my daughter with a disability. I call her The Unstoppable Abby. When she graduated home high school (huge accomplishment), she began to feel self-conscious about her difference, like she was always being stared at and excluded. This broke my heart to see her withdraw. She has traveled with me to my retreats. I call her my apprentice but I know I am hers. She is happy to have a few, even one solid emotional connection. She has taught me to write to connect, to find the deeper meaning in the hard, in our differences, and to find what unites us. I find it hard to push for numbers but I love connecting to the depth within people, their histories, the archetypes that guide us and reframing to find the golden thread of love — the through line to boost self-love, healing, emotional connection. Abby is wired for connection. I think we all are. My first post on how I came to Substack 6 months ago at age 66—tells the story. I cherish all she brings and feel sad when others do not see her for who she is. I'm sure we all get a bit of that. Abby is Medicine. Thank you all. Here is the link: https://prajnaohara.substack.com/p/this-is-my-first-post?r=ewam6
I'm pretty sure that I would continue the type of work that got me to 1M subscribers. Getting to 1M usually comes from gradual growth. So I can't imagine making a tremendous shift. But that level of growth probably would open up doors to get me closer to accomplishing the vision for Harmonious Balance.
I mean, a million is a lot of people😅. It would make me feel more secure, assuming those people are interested in your work and want to spend some money on it of course, if it's a million -91 people who came through a fluke and they're not interested in upping their baking skills, it would not be the same. I do wonder what it's like to have that many people read your writing, that's more than the amount of people that watch certain tv shows!
I like to think that I would continue writing as I am now, and about the same kind of things – actually, I would make a point to not change what I write or why I write just because more people are reading it. That said, if I had such a platform I would probably use it for a mixture of selfish and selfless goals. I could self-publish my books and promote it to my own audience instead of depending on the good will of agents and publishers, and maybe make a decent living out of writing. But I would also like to dedicate part of it to new writers who are struggling to get off the ground, like weekly recommendations of newsletters with fewer than 200 subscribers or something. I'd also love to lend my voice to causes that are important to me, like nature conservation and animal rights, and even partner with charities to raise awareness and funds.
Luna, this dream of yours is so beautiful! You sound like the very heart of SmallStack right there, especially in your desire to lift up smaller voices.
I would build the dream that God has put into my heart--a pet memorial / retreat center, a place for animal lovers to memorialize their beloved animals, learn about pets in heaven, visit the beautiful rememberance garden, visit the first-ever animal museum to honor and remember the important animals in our history and the amazing people in history who fought to protect them, and attend one of our compassion fatigue or pet memorial retreats, since our center would also include cabins, a meeting building for seminars and retreats, a mess hall, and all that goes into a normal "camp" setting. This would be a place for people to grieve, grow, develop friendships, and learn about God's deep love for mankind and the animal kingdom. Right now, this dream is parked in my mind. But 27 years ago, when I first had the idea to train my police dogs to be K9 pet trackers (i.e. "pet detectives") I was told I was "having a pipe dream" if I thought I could make a living as a pet detective. Not only have I made a living (pioneering the lost pet recovery industry) but I've trained hundreds of others (through
my online training course) who're doing the same work. I no longer see my dreams as impossible "pipe dreams" -- I see them as opportunities marinating in my mind!
I know, right? So many of us carry deep levels of love for them and would benefit from a memorial center. We memorialize so many things it amazes me that a large center dedicated to animals in a vacation destination area has not been built yet. BUT IT WILL BE...cause I won't stop dreaming!
I'd like to say, I'd just continue how I am - writing about the things I want to write about, not branding myself or putting myself in a box. But, that being said, a million eyes is a lot of eyes and I think I would feel some pull to write in a certain way, about the 'right' type of things. I don't think it would pull me for very long because I'm stubborn and defiant but I think it would possibly remain there at the back of my mind. That thought of 'Am I doing this right?'
But, like many of the other commenters have said, if I reached a million then those million must like what I'm putting out so I just keep telling myself that until I believed it!
I think "am I doing this right" is on the minds of everyone from one subscriber to over a million. I hope we never lose that inner question, because it keeps our minds and hearts open and curious. It's what makes you good at what you choose to do.
I do get that but, for me, I think it can sometimes be debilitating and it can stop me from writing about what I actually want to write about because I have decided it's not 'right'. I would love to get to a point where I feel my writing is right simply because it is exactly what I want to write in that moment.
I think getting it right the strong foundations are what I am working one now - finding how to create something original yet also with value! Million subscribers - such a big number but do they read the stack? does it provide something they need, does it add something to their lives? We may never know how even one sentence in a post might make a difference. Integrity yet also - it is organic - so it will grow as I grow, change if it no longer works. It is a balance as it is not a vanity project - I am not indulging myself or my ego - that is of no interest really to anyone - even myself! It is a long game and I am just at the beginning. I do need an income, but unless it is "real" people can tell and will be turned off.
Until I achieve a million free subscribers, ( I don't have a paywall) I doubt I would know what to do. Perhaps we should look at the publications who already have a million subscribers and see what they have done. Personally, I have no idea what I would do until I achieve it. if I achieve it, which is very doubtful. It's a bit like trying to get 1k subscribers, what do you do then, try and acquire 2k, then 3k. When do you stop?
For me, a million (free) subscribers would not alter my MO. I would continue to write only when I'm inspired and with one goal in mind: to promote awareness that our LGBTQ+ community has been around since the inception of human beings on the planet, and that love is love.
This reminds me of something that my boss keeps asking lately: what would you do if you won the lottery? He says that the smart thing to do is to buy some houses and to invest the remainder so that you can keep on growing your wealth (a real capitalist approach, but that's why he can run a successful business I guess, haha).
In this version, it may be the same: the smartest thing to do would be to reinvest your subscribers so that they can care about things more than just your own publication. Share other publications, more works, and more causes, related or not to your original intentions.
But if we're talking dreams, this isn't mine. I admire you who would dream to do this smart thing, but I don't think I'd be able to handle it.
I have the same idea for what I'd do if I won the lottery and what I'd do if I had a million subscribers (assuming that a portion would be paid subs anyway): I'd pay off my parents' house and figure out a way to run a shelter/skill-building workshop for crafts, engineering, and music. Or, maybe it'll have a plant nursery and offer classes on natural wonders and ecosystems. Maybe both. Some kind of place where anyone can enter and stay so long as they participate in maintaining these simple, fulfilling works, and learn a little something. Community projects could take place there. People would learn to take care of each other and know each other. There would be showers, some very nice bathrooms, and a decent area for sleeping. Maybe we could have a food pantry that people could contribute to. Well, it'd just be a very nice place to be among others and do our crafts. Or hang out with plants. It would need a lot of willing participants to keep it running, so I would use my platform to find volunteers or else fund the whole shebang with them, if that's even possible. Well, since it's a dream, I'll pretend it's possible.
I don't know if I'd talk about it on my publication. Oh, if I were to recruit volunteers for the place, I guess I'd have no choice, but writing stories is all I want to do(I feel bad, but I also think that besides the money and opportunity part, I wouldn't really care if I had a million subscribers). Maybe, I'll run a new section specifically for the shelter to give updates and talk about upcoming projects. I'd need help for that, though...
In reality, I know that I'm not enough to get such a thing going, but this is my dream. Make a nice place where anyone could learn things and stay for an indefinite amount of time if they have no other place to be. And be able to take a nice, hot shower.
Reaching a million subscribers means I have impacted a million lives and that's enough for me. I wouldn't change a single thing!
We often get caught up in giving more because the numbers have grown and I think that's how people lose the plot. If what you were doing was working before, then keep at it.
so true - we can get caught up in the "next big thing" when the simple and effective is really what people need. You can get lost in your own hype - being in your flow and integrity whatever the numbers works
Today, the 11th, is the final opportunity for writers to submit comments on this Smallstack, so I know I'm getting here just under the Limbo bar, but I have my reason. I'm stricken with self-doubt, the specter that crushes my self-esteem. It looms large in my world as I never thought that I had any ability to convey my thoughts in a way articulate enough to spur interest in another soul. It seems I may have been in error as my latest post has brought in a few comments which helped clear away some of the dark clouds of doubt that obscure my passion like a month of Mondays on a wintry Oregon February. Hope flickers in my breast as I wonder if this is the sort of feedback you all were looking for as I humbly submit my own post from yesterday for your consideration. I thank you for your time and for beginning this Smallstack forum.
https://davewise.substack.com/p/halloween-town-dreams
It takes courage to send our words out into the world, Dave. These steps you're taking can be so challenging and scary, and yet here you are showing up and doing it anyway. Well done.
Thank you, that means a great deal.
I feel more able to answer this question from a grounded place than ever before. When I was married, I had to prove my value and worth as a creator--to somehow translate my efforts into money. And I failed, and failed. I failed and the marriage failed. For a lot of reasons that aren't worth going into here. But the upshot now: my failures took me to rock bottom and now growing back from that place, I know what I want to do: I want to sit here at my writing desk, look out at my little apple tree I planted last spring, and write in my notebook. that's it. And everything I might do as a poet, and/or here on Substack and beyond both 1) comes out of that practice and 2) feeds back into it.
So, if I had a million readers? I'd be sitting here watching my apple tree grow and writing in my spiral note book and sharing some of my reflections. I like to think I would travel a little more and have a few more offerings--a podcast? a zoom hour? But...those dreams will only work if they are in alignment with my core creative practices.
The wonderful, miraculous part of all of this is: by getting really clear and unapologetic about my own creative needs and value--true value, which includes money and also so much more than just money-- I'm more comfortable not forcing anything and just welcoming who shows up. I still don't have a lot of energy (grief is exhausting) for hosting, but that will come. With time. The more I show up here, as myself, failed and sometimes prickly, joyful and abrupt and a little odd and still putting one word next to another... the more robust and resilient I feel myself once again becoming. <3
Tell me more about this little apple tree of yours, Sarah!
I am so glad your voice is here, and it is no surprise to hear you say that you wouldn't change anything about how or why or where you write.
I arrived July 2024 with a guest essay on memoir land so I kicked off my first substack post at the same time. I’m blown away to get so many subscribers so quickly. This is my venue. That was my dream. To have readers.
https://thompsonk.substack.com/p/kellyblog
Sometimes the simplest dreams are the most beautiful.
🌻🫶🌻✍🏼
It’s so crazy because my last post was all about endless wishes and dreaming big 🤩
https://aestheticallyrobyn.substack.com/p/memoirs-of-a-twenty-something-blowing
But if I had a million dollars, I don’t think I would change my format at all. I think if I have either 1 or 1 million subscribers, I would want to take the time to write from my heart. And I think this method will one day get me to a million subscribers because literally anything is possible. Loved this post. 🙂
Writing from your heart is what it's all about. And, as a fellow Robin, I think the future of our possibilities is limitless.
Hello Robin, Robin and Erin, Thank you for this invitation. My growth has been slow and steady. I began writing at 56, stopped and started again through the inspiration of my daughter with a disability. I call her The Unstoppable Abby. When she graduated home high school (huge accomplishment), she began to feel self-conscious about her difference, like she was always being stared at and excluded. This broke my heart to see her withdraw. She has traveled with me to my retreats. I call her my apprentice but I know I am hers. She is happy to have a few, even one solid emotional connection. She has taught me to write to connect, to find the deeper meaning in the hard, in our differences, and to find what unites us. I find it hard to push for numbers but I love connecting to the depth within people, their histories, the archetypes that guide us and reframing to find the golden thread of love — the through line to boost self-love, healing, emotional connection. Abby is wired for connection. I think we all are. My first post on how I came to Substack 6 months ago at age 66—tells the story. I cherish all she brings and feel sad when others do not see her for who she is. I'm sure we all get a bit of that. Abby is Medicine. Thank you all. Here is the link: https://prajnaohara.substack.com/p/this-is-my-first-post?r=ewam6
Your gift to the world, Prajna, is connection. I see that so clearly.
I'm pretty sure that I would continue the type of work that got me to 1M subscribers. Getting to 1M usually comes from gradual growth. So I can't imagine making a tremendous shift. But that level of growth probably would open up doors to get me closer to accomplishing the vision for Harmonious Balance.
Given the nature of my Substack, I'd have to run a book club!
Yes!! But why wait?
I mean, a million is a lot of people😅. It would make me feel more secure, assuming those people are interested in your work and want to spend some money on it of course, if it's a million -91 people who came through a fluke and they're not interested in upping their baking skills, it would not be the same. I do wonder what it's like to have that many people read your writing, that's more than the amount of people that watch certain tv shows!
My baking skills need your help, Sarah. And I know I'm not the only one!
I like to think that I would continue writing as I am now, and about the same kind of things – actually, I would make a point to not change what I write or why I write just because more people are reading it. That said, if I had such a platform I would probably use it for a mixture of selfish and selfless goals. I could self-publish my books and promote it to my own audience instead of depending on the good will of agents and publishers, and maybe make a decent living out of writing. But I would also like to dedicate part of it to new writers who are struggling to get off the ground, like weekly recommendations of newsletters with fewer than 200 subscribers or something. I'd also love to lend my voice to causes that are important to me, like nature conservation and animal rights, and even partner with charities to raise awareness and funds.
Luna, this dream of yours is so beautiful! You sound like the very heart of SmallStack right there, especially in your desire to lift up smaller voices.
I would build the dream that God has put into my heart--a pet memorial / retreat center, a place for animal lovers to memorialize their beloved animals, learn about pets in heaven, visit the beautiful rememberance garden, visit the first-ever animal museum to honor and remember the important animals in our history and the amazing people in history who fought to protect them, and attend one of our compassion fatigue or pet memorial retreats, since our center would also include cabins, a meeting building for seminars and retreats, a mess hall, and all that goes into a normal "camp" setting. This would be a place for people to grieve, grow, develop friendships, and learn about God's deep love for mankind and the animal kingdom. Right now, this dream is parked in my mind. But 27 years ago, when I first had the idea to train my police dogs to be K9 pet trackers (i.e. "pet detectives") I was told I was "having a pipe dream" if I thought I could make a living as a pet detective. Not only have I made a living (pioneering the lost pet recovery industry) but I've trained hundreds of others (through
my online training course) who're doing the same work. I no longer see my dreams as impossible "pipe dreams" -- I see them as opportunities marinating in my mind!
I love this ❤️ animals definitely deserve more recognition and respect than most people give them
I know, right? So many of us carry deep levels of love for them and would benefit from a memorial center. We memorialize so many things it amazes me that a large center dedicated to animals in a vacation destination area has not been built yet. BUT IT WILL BE...cause I won't stop dreaming!
I would go there in a heartbeat!
sweet
I'd like to say, I'd just continue how I am - writing about the things I want to write about, not branding myself or putting myself in a box. But, that being said, a million eyes is a lot of eyes and I think I would feel some pull to write in a certain way, about the 'right' type of things. I don't think it would pull me for very long because I'm stubborn and defiant but I think it would possibly remain there at the back of my mind. That thought of 'Am I doing this right?'
But, like many of the other commenters have said, if I reached a million then those million must like what I'm putting out so I just keep telling myself that until I believed it!
I think "am I doing this right" is on the minds of everyone from one subscriber to over a million. I hope we never lose that inner question, because it keeps our minds and hearts open and curious. It's what makes you good at what you choose to do.
I do get that but, for me, I think it can sometimes be debilitating and it can stop me from writing about what I actually want to write about because I have decided it's not 'right'. I would love to get to a point where I feel my writing is right simply because it is exactly what I want to write in that moment.
I think getting it right the strong foundations are what I am working one now - finding how to create something original yet also with value! Million subscribers - such a big number but do they read the stack? does it provide something they need, does it add something to their lives? We may never know how even one sentence in a post might make a difference. Integrity yet also - it is organic - so it will grow as I grow, change if it no longer works. It is a balance as it is not a vanity project - I am not indulging myself or my ego - that is of no interest really to anyone - even myself! It is a long game and I am just at the beginning. I do need an income, but unless it is "real" people can tell and will be turned off.
Until I achieve a million free subscribers, ( I don't have a paywall) I doubt I would know what to do. Perhaps we should look at the publications who already have a million subscribers and see what they have done. Personally, I have no idea what I would do until I achieve it. if I achieve it, which is very doubtful. It's a bit like trying to get 1k subscribers, what do you do then, try and acquire 2k, then 3k. When do you stop?
Good point.
For me, a million (free) subscribers would not alter my MO. I would continue to write only when I'm inspired and with one goal in mind: to promote awareness that our LGBTQ+ community has been around since the inception of human beings on the planet, and that love is love.
D.C., this dream is so close to my own heart. I'm so glad you're here.
love is love.
This reminds me of something that my boss keeps asking lately: what would you do if you won the lottery? He says that the smart thing to do is to buy some houses and to invest the remainder so that you can keep on growing your wealth (a real capitalist approach, but that's why he can run a successful business I guess, haha).
In this version, it may be the same: the smartest thing to do would be to reinvest your subscribers so that they can care about things more than just your own publication. Share other publications, more works, and more causes, related or not to your original intentions.
But if we're talking dreams, this isn't mine. I admire you who would dream to do this smart thing, but I don't think I'd be able to handle it.
I have the same idea for what I'd do if I won the lottery and what I'd do if I had a million subscribers (assuming that a portion would be paid subs anyway): I'd pay off my parents' house and figure out a way to run a shelter/skill-building workshop for crafts, engineering, and music. Or, maybe it'll have a plant nursery and offer classes on natural wonders and ecosystems. Maybe both. Some kind of place where anyone can enter and stay so long as they participate in maintaining these simple, fulfilling works, and learn a little something. Community projects could take place there. People would learn to take care of each other and know each other. There would be showers, some very nice bathrooms, and a decent area for sleeping. Maybe we could have a food pantry that people could contribute to. Well, it'd just be a very nice place to be among others and do our crafts. Or hang out with plants. It would need a lot of willing participants to keep it running, so I would use my platform to find volunteers or else fund the whole shebang with them, if that's even possible. Well, since it's a dream, I'll pretend it's possible.
I don't know if I'd talk about it on my publication. Oh, if I were to recruit volunteers for the place, I guess I'd have no choice, but writing stories is all I want to do(I feel bad, but I also think that besides the money and opportunity part, I wouldn't really care if I had a million subscribers). Maybe, I'll run a new section specifically for the shelter to give updates and talk about upcoming projects. I'd need help for that, though...
In reality, I know that I'm not enough to get such a thing going, but this is my dream. Make a nice place where anyone could learn things and stay for an indefinite amount of time if they have no other place to be. And be able to take a nice, hot shower.
Reaching a million subscribers means I have impacted a million lives and that's enough for me. I wouldn't change a single thing!
We often get caught up in giving more because the numbers have grown and I think that's how people lose the plot. If what you were doing was working before, then keep at it.
so true - we can get caught up in the "next big thing" when the simple and effective is really what people need. You can get lost in your own hype - being in your flow and integrity whatever the numbers works